

Discover more from THE PROMISE
I was looking over some fun Latin adages to start the New Year off right, seeing if anything spoke to my soul. I feel different, personally. Of course, I can’t know what you’re going through right now; but I am intentional and focused these days. And, oh holy life force, do I plan to be every day.
Feet ready. Light touch. Blazing radiance.
I am absolutely choosing to allow a newfound strength and power to guide me; one that is based not on what I can accomplish, have accomplished, or even could—- no, no, but instead rather based on who I am in essence.
Who are you, in essence? Do you know? If you were stripped naked of all worldly possessions and roles you play, would you know who you are just by breathing with your eyes closed? Would you know that light and how it moves and dances in your genius zone. Would you be able to feel yourself and love yourself at your core?
Life gives us reminders of who we are through the ups and downs. I like efficacious truth. So, I’m with it.
Arising after a couple hellscape years, dusting the malaise of uncertainty and stagnant defeat off my noble shoulders (ugh, quite the karmic garment to unrobe) let us say that I am ready to dance to a new tune. I’ll elaborate—not just dance. I’m going to score the opus, maestro the vibrations and players, and star in the fucking show.
You know that feeling? When you know you’re ready and it’s time? And yet, you are still watching the mystery unfold and know nothing. That is a ripe space. One must take advantage of fertile ground. Discernment and aligned action at the right moment can set up your next chapter.
But we have seen some tough times. Most everyone has experienced lot of change and a lot of loss. Honored. We’ve all heard it: just keep going. So what does it take to just keep going? To get back on the horse and dedicate yourself to life a’new?
I remember the voracious fire that propelled me forth after a previous chapter of decay and destruction. It was another life, in this lifetime— so many lives this merry go round. However in this now moment, my post-mortem flame is a little different: tempered, anchored, embodied, stronger. Fire meets Oak. I’ve been sitting still for years, quietly waiting, watching, allowing, taking in the wisdom and letting pain and loss alchemize into authentic power. Isn’t it funny when things fall apart but you feel at the top of your game? Doesn’t make sense from a simplistic perspective, but from the cyclical perspective of nature and quantum manifestation, in fact, the internal powerhouse must be in place and amped up — all prior to going out there and making cool things happen on Earth.
Alignment first, then action. Energy first, then material manifestation. Cause, then affect. Remember? Yes, yes… of course you do.
Now, Latin !
Igne natura renovatur integra: Through fire, nature is reborn whole.
Alchemical aphorism. Story of my life. There is no way out but through. Fire is a creator and a destroyer. It’s a creator because it’s a destroyer. Are destruction and death so scary though? Depends on how you look at things. Tear this shit down! It’s not working! Cling NOT to a dying paradigm unsupportive of the life you’ve become. Death certainly isn’t the end. It is a process; an art form. But sometimes we can’t speed these processes. Nature is in control. We must allow the forces of evolution to guide as well continually beckon truth, in faith. Beautifully. Openly. To be reborn with knowing. It is an art form of mind, body, spirit, patience, endurance, grit and creation. It is an art form of courage, allowing the death process to take you down. Death and destruction are synonymous with transformation. There is no other way to move into a higher design but by erasing what was. The price of the new is the old. Through fire nature is reborn whole. Let life transform you. Let it cause you to die. Learn what new life is. Refine into pure essence embodiment. Every death supports refinement. Blow on the coals and stoke your fire, trusting that all cleared from your path is no coincidence, but supportive of great purpose.
Maybe some you have not felt that sense of GREAT PURPOSE lately. I want to remind you that life still holds this idea. Ideas animate action. The words, ‘great purpose,’ need not evoke heavy or burdensome tones. In fact, you’re not necessarily in charge of what that great purpose is going to look like, in practical terms. ‘Great’ can be a buttercup or a meteor shower. Let the light take the wheel knowing that we are all born and exist for a reason beyond our limited awareness. Faith is required when we are walking through the fire.
Humilitas occidit superbiam: Humility conquers pride.
I was sitting at dinner with a friend in Soho this summer. I am paraphrasing, but basically she suggested I not let pride get in the way of big opportunities that may make me really happy. I sort of sat with pride over the next couple of months. Pride doesn’t have to be boastful or loud, but it is a rigid thing when I contemplate it in feeling. We don’t always see it, and internal systems can crystalize into rigidity anchored by pride. Where was pride was holding me back? Luckily the universe was kind enough to fuck me up with a bang, shortly thereafter. Man, when I ask for truth…. I better be careful. Abracadabra, baby.
Rock bottom helped me to to see things very clearly. I know it sounds sort of weird, but it’s true. I went through a medical crisis and burn out recently that helped dissolve garments that no longer fit. The essence underneath this outdated, metaphoric garb, is so much more dynamic than the previous container for expression. Now, that container is expanding and evolving. Energy was getting stuck and tight; neither able to synthesize nor express itself in full capacity, resulting in illness. So, given my system— that means my higher self decided to torch the whole damn thing ;) My higher self and I… sheesh…. We have our moments. He seems to think my earthly self is super badass and can handle a lot. Ehem….
It was the humility of being stripped bare and naked that helped me see, or remember rather, who I truly am outside of the roles I play for folks. Can you relate? That clarity gave me the confidence to change everything. Be who I am. Create what I want. Talk how I want. Live how I want. Life is change and constant mutation. We have to flow with that understanding. The humility of committing to myself no matter what that looks like, means I am not looking outward for stewardship. Fucks flew out the door just as fast as demons in forsaken terror that I have woken up holy, yet again. Bang, bang ⚡️.
I don’t have to be what you need me to be or what my clients need me to be. I don’t even have to be what I think Helena (my daughter) needs me to be. I just need to be, me. That’s it. The best me I can be. Oh boy, I could barely hold on, let alone be anything for anyone when shit hit the fan this fall. I could only be true. And that true blue you doesn’t need to force anything, just like actualized authenticity cannot bear pride. It’s too heavy to hold. I think being who you are makes you both happy and humble because there is nothing to prove.
Humility dissolves pride. I had too much pride to allow myself the space to operate in my true genius zone, appropriate to this life chapter. Too much pride to ask for help. Too much pride to let go of what I built. Too much pride to acknowledge another failure when I’m supposed to be my daughter’s hero. Too much pride to acknowledge I had to stop working no matter the consequence. But, you see, I no longer fear these things. Enough ‘failures’ (a perception) become grains of sand, mixed in with billions of other grains that go by different names, for example: acceptance, purpose, wisdom, richness, salt, pleasure, song, and so forth. You walk over the sand, one foot in front of the other. We are walking on life.
We are the ones who judge our experiences, instead of letting them be what they are, shaping us into our true selves.
Let humility melt your pride so you can go be who you are.
Fons vitae caritas : Love is the fountain of life.
I had many truisms to contemplate and they’re all apt to the moment. I could write for days about each one. I looked over the list and softened here. One was about leading, another action, another family. And yet all forms of leadership, action, protection, support and creation come from what? Dare I say it?
Love.
Just hold that word.
Give it a beat…
Love.
Love is the fountain of life. Hold your heart. You are your own best friend. A life without love does not yield abundant energy, health, creativity, play, action, magic, benevolence, discovery nor profundities. When love mothers your creations and sets the tone of your day, the entire universe looks different. I’ll ask you a simple question, but an important one. It was posed to me as a new mother. I think about it sometimes. Your answer to this question will color your world and how you walk in it.
Is the world good or bad?
A lot of you are going to hit me with a dose of my own shit: beyond duality, human condition, spectrum, all, etc. Fuck black and white. I get that and I know what you mean. I embrace the allness of life, duality, non-duality, the paradox in the center and everything we can’t understand. But let’s be honest here, I find it’s easier to embrace the all if you hold the belief that the world is ultimately good. You’re still going have to deal with difficult shit. But when you lose faith and hope in a benevolent universe, things can slide into something treacherous, for that difficult shit gets boiled in bad acid leaving a putrid, hater-stench sucking the air out of the room. Fuck that. When we believe in goodness prevailing, we are demonstrating that ultimately, we trust something greater. We trust that love wins.
Maybe several years of facing extremes to find balance will help us come home with heart. Stay with the heart. Stay with that sense of home. This is the restful ease from which love rises to support all that you are.
And in moments when you can’t summon love, if you just don’t have it in you— instead, call on patience. Pray for the patience and endurance to summon love, no matter what is going on.
Patience, dear ones, for love is the fountain of life.
I want love to be the fountain of life. Who wouldn’t? I don’t want to live in a vacuous hole of doom sans love. Sounds super shitty. Then you have to play that dumb ass game that basic, fake, cool people play; the one where they pretend their overcompensated emotional armor (due to an obvious lack of love) is sexy, seductive and alluring. Mysterious and untouchable. Clamoring to fill the void with all kinds of bullshit. Nah. You can smell it a mile away. Lack is lack and it smells like hater no matter what kind of makeup you wear.
No love; no light.
No light; no flow.
No flow; no go.
No go; no life.
Love is the fountain of life.
Fill up your love cup. Stoke the flames. Humbly, return to your heart. And may your greatest dreams come true in 2023. Bless you and thanks for being on this list. I appreciate talking to you. I’ll write you another letter soon.
Oh, and one last thing…. fortis fortuna aviudat. One of my favorites. Fortune favors the bold, baby. I’ve been uttering that one under my breath since I was 19.
Happy New Year!
With Love,
Kalisa