Healing Attachment Trauma: Integrative Approaches to Relationship Recovery
How My Work Supports Healthy Relationships
Sometimes I speak from the God philosopher, the poet, the bad healer 😎, the lover and dreamer, the story teller, the spade caller, spiritual scientist or the clinical metaphysician. But today, I speak from the nerdy practitioner. Relationships and relational intelligence are coming up as a hot topics for our health, immunology, nervous systems, and frankly a more compassionate world. Everyone has issues. And it’s okay. Here’s how we can support letting go of the pain in the way of love and healthy relationships from my more clinical perspective.
Attachment trauma, stemming from early disruptions in caregiver relationships, profoundly shapes our capacity for connection throughout life. When the fundamental bonds that should provide safety and security are compromised through neglect, abuse, or inconsistent caregiving, individuals often develop protective mechanisms that later interfere with healthy adult relationships. Three therapeutic modalities—brainspotting, energy healing, and parts therapy—offer unique pathways for addressing these deep-seated wounds and fostering the capacity for secure, authentic relationships.
I. Understanding Attachment Trauma’s Relational Impact
Attachment trauma creates lasting imprints on both the nervous system and relational patterns. Individuals may struggle with emotional regulation, trust, intimacy, and boundaries. They might find themselves caught in cycles of anxious pursuit or avoidant withdrawal, unable to maintain the delicate balance of closeness and autonomy that healthy relationships require. Traditional talk therapy, while valuable, sometimes struggles to reach the somatic and subcortical levels where attachment patterns are encoded. That’s where working with the brain, energy and subconscious becomes a vital transformation container.
II. Brainspotting: Accessing Subcortical Healing
Brainspotting, developed by David Grand, operates on the principle that “where you look affects how you feel.” This approach recognizes that eye positions can access specific neural networks where trauma is stored, particularly in subcortical brain regions that govern attachment responses. Unlike cognitive therapies that primarily engage the prefrontal cortex, brainspotting bypasses the thinking brain to access deeper neurological patterns.
In addressing attachment trauma, brainspotting allows clients to locate and process preverbal experiences that shaped their relational templates. A client might discover that certain eye positions activate feelings of abandonment or engulfment, providing direct access to attachment wounds that occurred before language development. Through sustained attunement to these brainspots while maintaining dual awareness, clients can process and integrate these experiences without becoming overwhelmed.
The relational healing occurs through the therapeutic relationship itself. The brainspotting therapist maintains attuned presence while the client’s nervous system reorganizes around new experiences of safety and co-regulation. This corrective emotional experience helps rewire attachment patterns, creating new neural pathways that support healthier relationship dynamics. Clients often report increased capacity for emotional intimacy, improved boundaries, and reduced reactivity in close relationships.
III. Energy Healing: Addressing Relational Fields
Energy healing approaches recognize that attachment trauma creates disruptions in the body’s energetic systems and the relational field between individuals. Energy affects your vibrational output, meaning your silent communication to the world around you. We now know the world around you is always responding to your thoughts and feelings in a continuous feedback loop. Thank you quantum mechanics! Modalities such as my signature angelic purification, chakra balancing, psychic surgery, sound healing and somatic energy work address the energetic imprints of relational trauma that may not be accessible through conventional therapeutic methods. And I go hard, in those realms.
From an energy healing perspective, attachment trauma creates contractions, blocks, and dysregulation in the energetic body. The energy body affects your organs, glands, vitality, health, mental clarity, finances, sex drive and behaviors. For instance, the heart chakra, associated with love and connection, may become armored against vulnerability. Or perhaps the root chakra, governing safety and belonging, might remain chronically activated or depleted. Energy healing works to restore flow and balance to these systems, creating conditions for authentic relating.
The healing process often involves releasing energetic cords and attachments to past relationships that continue to drain or distort current connections. Through techniques like cord cutting and energetic boundary work, removing interference in the outer layers of the field, soul retrieval or grounding processes, past life integrations and more—individuals learn to maintain their authentic energy while remaining open to love and connection. This work supports the development of interdependent relationships where both autonomy and intimacy can coexist. Energy healing also addresses generational and ancestral patterns that influence attachment styles. As an energy healer, I work with family system healing, recognizing that attachment patterns are transmitted through energetic lineages. By healing these deeper layers, individuals can break cycles of relational dysfunction that may have persisted across generations. We have to see the patterns, correct the long standing psychological contortion required to survive previous difficult circumstances, and conscious apply what we learn in real time to change ourselves and our relationships.
IV: Parts Therapy: Integrating Internal Systems
Parts therapy, exemplified by Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, recognizes that attachment trauma often creates internal fragmentation. Different parts of the psyche develop to cope with relational wounds—protector parts that prevent vulnerability, exile parts that hold pain and longing, and firefighter parts that seek immediate relief from emotional overwhelm. I offer parts therapy from a neuro-experiential model developed over 20 years. This embodies a more Taoist and view on subconscious expressions as well as an energy based heart integration process to finish. I also work with multidimensional parts therapy requiring a keen discernment on what aspects of self need to be integrated from unhealed past lives. This requires extensive multidimensional experience as well as discernment between psychic illusions, external energies, symbolism, and truly understanding the karmic antecedent of the pattern which created the wounded subconscious personality in the first place. Early childhood is an education continuum of alternate dimensional expressions of life experience. Neural networks are like time loops, and often when addressing an issue in early childhood - a corresponding past life may arise for the purpose of healing, lesson integration and karmic balance if the individual is ready to take that on.
Whether it’s childhood, adolescence, or a past life, these conflicting internal dynamics directly mirror external relationship patterns. An individual might have a part that desperately seeks closeness while another part maintains rigid distance. So, parts therapy helps identify and heal these internal conflicts, creating space for the authentic Self to emerge and engage in relationships from a place of wholeness rather than fragmentation.
The therapeutic process involves developing internal attunement and compassion for all parts, including those that developed problematic relational strategies. As clients learn to provide internal co-regulation and meet their parts’ needs, they become less dependent on others to fulfill these functions. This creates the foundation for healthier external relationships based on choice rather than compulsion.
V. Integration and Relationship Transformation
When combined, these three approaches address attachment trauma from multiple dimensions—neurological, energetic, and psychological. Brainspotting provides direct access to subcortical attachment patterns, energy healing addresses the somatic and systemic aspects of relational wounding, and parts therapy integrates the fragmented aspects of self that interfere with authentic connection.
The ultimate goal is not merely symptom reduction but the cultivation of earned security through genuine embodiment of the most powerful self—the capacity to form healthy relationships despite early attachment disruptions or the experience of chronic traumas. Individuals develop greater self-awareness, emotional regulation, and the ability to maintain authentic connection while honoring their own needs and boundaries.
This integrative healing journey transforms not only individual well-being but ripples outward to affect families, communities, and future generations. As individuals heal their attachment wounds through these holistic approaches, they become capable of offering their children and partners the secure, attuned presence that creates resilient bonds and breaks cycles of relational trauma.
Expansion sessions transform your relationships! I hope this helps!
Please contact me for support in these areas. The healing container is magical.